It’s been a busy month—from the holiday season to friends from afar (and a boyfriend) visiting, and to the Gay Christian Network (GCN) conference, where I worshiped, tabled for Friends of Jesus, and reconnected with and made many dear friends.
So there has been a lot going on.
I am sorry for writing less, especially for those friends looking for updates on my life, but the truth is I haven’t had much to say. I have much to be thankful about—really, I do—but somehow, in one of the most blessed seasons of my life, I have been eaten up by my future’s ambiguity and by my own insecurities.
The GCN conference was glorious! There were so many loving, sweet, eloquent, and brilliant speakers. Everybody glowed with peace and looked so huggable and beautiful, and I think all who attended could agree. The conference was such a profound celebration of the unity and reconciliation that is found in Christ. And really, I found a deeper faith and hope there; I came out of the conference more excited about the gospel and more hopeful for the Church.
That being said, the heaviness of this season followed me into the conference and I was a bit distracted. My mind was sidetracked by the existential crises that kept popping up. I felt like I couldn’t soak up all the blessing and love that were so present and tangible at the conference, and that makes me a bit sad. Lord knows that it would have been a ton worse if I didn’t have my partner beside me the whole time, listening to me rant about my insecurities and continually praying for me.
And perhaps, this conference was needed. Perhaps it was the perfect dose of hope and faith I could have in a season like this, and perhaps I was supposed to be confronted by my insecurities and hurts. I say ‘perhaps’, but I am pretty confident that I needed these things.
So I thank God for sustaining, refining, and leading me and the Church as a whole. And I thank God for the blessing that is QVS, the Quaker community in Portland, as well as all the friends and family that have been pushing me and revealing the love of God continually. I often sense the support of the Spirit through the intercession of others, so I thank you for holding me in the Light and praying for me. I am still processing the GCN conference, and I have a lot to discern these upcoming months, so I ask for you, Friends, to continually hold me up in prayer. Lord knows I need it.
Light & Love,